Man speaking to pharmacist - "One silver bullet, please."
22 Anatomy 101
Girl showing up to Anatomy 101 class sees sign stating "Out of Body"
Sign on hospital driveway - No Parking This Means You Pizza Guy
Skinny elephant talking a pudgy one "The best part is, some ecology group paid the the liposuction."
Doctor speaking to Little Orphan Annie - "How long have you had the untreated thyroid condition?"
Doctors having a conversation - "You're invited to my hearty party to celebrate heart health. It's BYOB... bring your own beets."
Doctor speaking to twins - "You have some bad cholesterol, Bill, but your twin's is downright evil."
Surgeon holding houseplant speaking to another surgeon - "Is this your first transplant?”
Doctor speaking to patient - "To jog your memory, let's review all the advice I've given that you've ignored over the last 13 years..."
Doctor speaking to patient - "You could eliminate stress by paying your bill"
Tombstone with inscription "Recovered Hypochondriac"
Man floating behind woman on street - "There were side effects from the balloon heart surgery."
Doctor wearing toolbelt - "It's been harder since the hospital cut back on nurses."
Doctor speaking to patient - "No, I don't suppose listening to chamber music will better increase the blood flow to your heart."
Man speaking to doctor - "I work in television. The camera adds weight."
Doctor talking to man hanging from chandelier - "I understand you’re having issues since we transplanted the baboon heart"
Man asking doctor about numbers running around the office - "Your triglycerides - they're off the charts."
Male doctor dressed as clown speaking to female doctor: "A lot of my patients have white coat syndrome."
Waiter speaking to man at dinner table - "Here’s Your Chef’s surprise, sir, and our recovery room is right through that door.”
Doctor speaking to woman with a perplexed nurse - "I'm going to let my long-time nurse who's really good with words tell you what's wrong."
Doctor speaking to patient “Before I put you under there is something I need to go over.”
Priest speaking to man in full body cast in hospital bed - "We haven't seen you in church lately."
Internal Medicine Doctor at a desk with Inside and Out boxes.
Man speaking to psychiatrist - “I mean, I get to the point where I can’t pick out my socks without thinking it’s a life or death situation.”
Man in hospital bed - “The EMS workers said sticks and stones broke my bones, but it’s the words that really hurt me.”
Women in car behind ambulance - “I’m used to pulling over when I hear sirens and see flashing lights.”
Doctor with glass case behind him - "In case of heartbburn break glass."
Doctor and and nurse speaking to patient - “I’m going to let my long-time nurse who’s really good with words tell you what’s wrong.”
Nurse talking to patient in hospital bed - “We’d prefer you pull the nurse string rather than make a duck call.”
Skywriting of F.A.S.T. - “It’s not the most romantic thing I’ve ever read in the sky, but it must be pretty important!”
Doctor speaking to a man who resembles a salt shaker - “I understand you’re a pillar in the community, but cutting back on salt would greatly reduce your risk of a stroke, Mr. Moore.”
Nurse talking about patient - “The fact that he is still out of it is a real eye opener.”
Surgeon at operating table on a Segway - “I am able to maneuver more adeptly with this.”
Woman at Nutrition store - “Do you have any chocolate-covered diet pills?”
Doctor in bed with frightened patient - “Dr. Halburg’s bedside manner is a little alarming.”
Doctor speaking to a frog - “I’ll need a stool sample.”
Doctor speaking to man - “Your arterial clot is thicker and about to stop your ticker.”
Dirty man with laundry passing an Urgent Care and going into a Detergent Care.
Doctor in operating theatre passed out - "Is there a doctor in the house?"
Doctor talking to chubby man with stretch marks - "You can't fool me. Those aren't racing stripes, they're stretch marks."
Receptionist speaking to man - "It shows you have blockage in your bank account"
Doctor speaking to patient "You can chew the fat, just don't swallow it."
Woman speaking to husband - “The heart doctor is perfectly qualified to clean your arterial walls - he's an angio-plasterer."
Man on stationary bike with huge front wheel that reads "Exer-Hi-Cycle"
Doctor talking to patient in hospital bed - "Your upper G.I. will involve a revolutionary method using a drone the size of a mosquito."
Wife talking to husband in hospital - "The surgeon said you'd be up and running from me in a few days."
Doctor to patient - "Part of your stress test will involve bouncing up and down on my suitcase packed for Aruba."
Cello speaking to a doctor - "I can never be as fit as a fiddle."
Men talking at bus stop - "The way Muriel cooks, I get all the exercise I need from aerobic eating."
Two bears watching backpackers - “I only eat vegetarians.”
Doctor talking to man in hammock in waiting room - "I know we need to improve our wait times, but it's good to see you resting comfortably, Mr Kinn."
Doctor speaking to chubby scarecrow - "To lose some weight, I'm taking you off hay and putting you a straw only diet."
Man on phone in car - "I was going to the cardiologist's, but I got nervous and took the bypass."
Doctor talking to patient - "Are you positive the negative tests are positive?"
Doctor and Grim Reaper speaking to patient - "Well, first, let me give you the good news."
Doctor talking to a rat - "You're packing on the pounds."
A chubby bird in a leaning tree - "The bluebird of obesity"
Whales having a discussion - "Forget the krill, I'm on a low-blubber diet."
Doctor in cow spotted coat to nurse - "A lot of my patients have white coat syndrome."
Worm doctor talking to an apple - "Let's focus on your core."
Nurse speaking to patient - “The doctor is seeking a second opinion on whether he wants to see you.”
Doctor speaking to woman - "Everything that was good for you is now bad for you."
Doctor speaking to patient - "Your positive attitude is cantagious!"
Doctor speaking to police officer on exam table: "Your eyes are glazed. I know you haven't been drinking, so it must be the donuts."
Man speaking to woman - "I am on a diet. I'm only eating mini-donuts."
Elf sitting in oversized chair reading a book called "Boosting your elf esteem."
Female doctor speaking to camel sitting on exam table: "I know you can go 40 days without water, but for your health sake, you should really take a sip."
Patient pointing to IV bag on bed next to her - “You gonna finish that?”
Doctor speaking to a snake - "I'm concerned about your death rattle."
Doctor talking to man in recliner - "Often, men who hit 50 begin to recline."
Doctor talking to the Scarecrow "It's not the last straw, but if you don't keep eating your fiber, it will be."
Doctor speaking to woman reading Medical encyclopeida - "No, I don't care for a second opinion."
Nurse speaking about patient in hospital bed - "I can't find a pulse, but I do find him repulsive."
Doctor talking to chess board Knight - "For exercise, take two steps and one to the left and one step and two to the right..."
Sheep standing at door of the "Bleating Heart Clinic"
Man speaking to doctor with chainsaw - "Have you been a heart surgeon long?"
Pharmacist to woman - "Take two 3 times every other day, one twice the other day and 4 times on the 5th day, and on weekends one 2 times before noon and twice after. Capiche?"
Tinman speaking to Dorothy - "What a ripoff! All I got was an artichoke heart."
Doctor speaking to a pumpkin - "It's more of a procedure than a surgery."
Doctors speaking to woman in crazy bed - "We haven't quite figuredout all the nuances to this new high-tech adjustable bed."
Doctor speaking to man on exam table - “Sorry - your health insurance policy doesn't say anything about funny shooting pains in your toes.”
Cat speaking to a vet- "I'm curious. What has the greatest risk of killing me?"
Doctor speaking to woman with weird hair - "Your heart checks out ok, but I'm referring you to a cosmetologist for your hat hair."
Doctor speaking to a Jack-in-the-box - "I'm Recommending a stene."
Cow in hospital bed, two IV bags, one marked CUD.
Surgeon speaking to patient - "This will be a tricky operation."
Man speaking to another - "I've gone off my diet so I can add some room for more tattoos."
Doctor talking to man floatin on ceiling - "Still having gas problems Mr. Quigley?"
Doctor talking to hefty man on cracked exam table - "I'm putting you on a diet."
Doctor speaking to man in superhero outfit - "You could call yourself Supperman."
Doctor talking to a pirate - "I'm keeping you on the 'yo ho ho' and taking you off the bottle of rum."
Pharmacist speaking to woman - "Your get well card didn't work."
Man in scrubs speaking to other golfers on the green - "Please let me play through - I'm scheduled for a quadruple bypass in 15 minutes."
Doctor talking to patient - "I smell a telethon"
Doctor speaking to patient in hospital - "We have some concerns about your donor. It was an organ grinder."
Doctor speaking to woman in hospital - "We ended up doing a bypass and operated on your husband first."
Man talking to doctor - "Sure, I eat vegetables and seafood - jellybeans and saltwater taffy."
Doctor speaking to a man with a knife in his back. - "Yes, but sometimes back pain can be indicative of other problems."
"I'm looking to get ahead, so I'm having a procedure to remove my scruples."
Kid in doctor outfit looking at dad - "Daddy's too busy for a complete physical right now."
Doctor talking to very large lumberjack - "Mr. Bunyan, you have an enlarged heart."
Man with tuba - Tom didn't play the tuba, he used it for deep-breathing exercises.
Nurse speaking to doctor about patient - "He looks so peaceful, Dr. Maybin." "Better adjust his medication then, Nurse Hadley."
Doctor speaking to man outside hospital -- "I specialize in out patients."
Man looking at belly -- "I gotta get rid of this big guy" Doctor responding -- "Eliminate the middleman?"
Doctor speaking to a nervous snail - "Salt... it will be the death of you"
Two sharks discussing a swimmer - "I hope he's a counselor - I like comfort food"
Doctor speaking to a large jug with a handle - "Ewer the pitcher of health"
Man getting drink from a large IV bag - "Water Coolers for Hospital Employees"
Man getting drink from a large IV bag - "Water Coolers for Hospital Employees"
Doctor speaking to cow with her udders and nose swapped - “There was some confusion during your facelift, and the result is udder chaos.”
Anteater opening bottle of Ant Acid
As patient gets up from operating table, one surgeon says to other: "I forgot to tell you, he's a sleepwalker."
Trainer speaking to overweight man - “And if your diet goes well, you could win the No Belly Prize.”
Doctor to man in hospital bed: "I've authorized heroic measures to find you medical coverage."
Doctor speaking to man - “If you want a new lease on life, you’ll have to have a co-signer.”
Doctor talking to womain in hospital bed, mscular man at her side. - “No match has been found for your kidney yet, but we did find you a matching heartthrob.”
Woman looking at recipe with "chocolate guilt chip remorsels" as the ingredient
Doctor speaking to man in hospital bed - “We had difficulty locating your heart. Are you, by chance, a lawyer?”
Doctor talking to man with book on his head - “You’re a textbook case, Mr. Filstrup.”
Doctor and nurse discussing patient with cheeseburger for a head: "Just as I thought - Mayor McCheese has an elevated cholesterol level."
Man and woman eating at All You Can Eat buffet: "Now Bernie, be sure to save room for your diet pill."
Doctor speaking to haggard-looking man on exam table: “You’re working like a dog and eating like a horse. You don’t need me, you need a veterinarian.”
Two older women reading books together on park bench: "No, it's not a bookmark, it's a low-carb candy bar."
Doctor sitting at desk eating while talking to patient: "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to interrupt the discussion about your bypass, but a donut flew into my mouth."
Doctor speaking to concerned patient - “I’m giving you six months … whereas before I wouldn’t give you the time of day.”
Doctor speaking to patient in exam room: "You're having news flashes. I can only give you an editorial opinion."
Man speaking to insurance agent - “I’m a second hand smoker.”
Man in vacation wear approaching doors marked Urgent Care and Laid Back Care
Doctor talking to man in exam room - “You need a liver and onions transplant.”
Man sitting in easy chair speaking to woman: "I've been so busy reading books on walking and running that I haven't had time to walk or run."
Woman speaking to surprised man at trash bin - “That’s your whole fitness program? Throwing away the remote?”
Doctor speaking to patient leaning toward her: "I'm recommending a more balanced diet."
Backpacker talking to wise old man on mountain - “Enlightenment? You bet! I’ve got this great new exercise video for only …”
Woman returning hand mixer to complaints counter - “It does nothing to whip me into shape.”
Surgeons talking in hospital hallway - “We’re going to have to bypass the bypass surgery. We just admitted a nasty looking hangnail.”
Surgeon visiting psychologist's office: When it comes to organ transplants, I internalize too much."
Doctor speaking to a turkey - “You’ve tested positive for secret herbs and spices.”
Angry doctor walking up to door labeled "Infernal Medicine."
Doctor speaking to man in office - “Typical of a philanthropist, you have an enlarged heart.”
Two kangaroos having a conversation - “Nope, not Joey. That’s my newly installed pacemaker.”
Woman talking to doctor at husband's hospital bedside - “He’s always had an unhealthy diet. He was born with a greasy spoon in his mouth.”
Doctor speaking to female patient: “For a healthier heart, I’m recommending you eat your greens – except for Shamrock shakes.”
Family watching a baseball game on TV - “Since they call them ‘The Cardiac Kids,’ shouldn’t we have the heart doctor on standby?”
Surgeon speaking to woman outside O.R." I'm a heart surgeon, Marge, not a cardio shark."
Nurse speaking to man in hospital bed - “No, not an enema. We administered an enigma. We’re not sure what it was for or for what purpose.”
Doctor speaking to hairy patient: "You could stand to shed a few pounds."
Doctor talking to a chicken - “So, you are the healthier free range chicken?”
Man speaking to hospital admittance lady - "I feel poorly all over" She says "can you be more specific?" and he replies “I would if it weren’t a general hospital.”
Man driving toward exit ramp on highway, signs marked Poughkeepsie and Tightening of Chest, Shortness of Breath, This Exit
Man and woman walk into "Stress Test Area" where stressed people are looking at treadmill.
Woman on park bench, talking to Cupid - “It started with shooting pains … and now my heart is throbbing. I’m suing.”
Staring down the barrel of a catch 22: "Either I bite the bullet and have the surgery or wait and play Russian roulette with my health," man says to woman as they leave doctor's office.
Doctor speaking to woman in hospital bed - “I admit I was monkeying around a little. We replaced yours with a baboon heart.”
Surgeon holding scalpel asks patient: "So, why did you unfriend me on Facebook?"
Used car salesman talking to doctor: "You might feel a little pressure, Doctor."
Man speaking to accountant- “You cannot claim your bartender as a health-care provider.”
Hospital patient visited by Grim Reaper holding large toothbrush: "Billy Bob had a brush with death."
Surgeon and bear dressed as surgeon speaking to patient: “You’re very lucky. His window of operating is very narrow, as he usually is in hibernation now.”
Doctor speaking to piñata on exam table: "The blockage is a Gobstopper. I'm afraid we're going to have to open you up."
Doctor speaking to tin man: "You are low in iron."
Cardiologist speaking to female patient: "No, you need a new heart valve ... not new pumps!"
Doctor to overweight patient: "The diagnostic computer is never wrong, Mr. Saylor. You're pregnant with triplets."
Doctor listening to man's heart: The weather is lousy again today....oh, great - another bad valve ... and who is this clown in the lab coat? - Doctor: "I detect a heart murmur."
Woman talking to doctor - “You couldn’t find what’s wrong with me? Then I am in worse shape than I thought!!”
Exterior of building with sign that says "Veterans Hospital: Watch for chest filling with pride."
Doctor speaking to patient's wife: "He is healthy as a horse, but he is terminally cantankerous."
Doctor speaking to elf - “I’m sorry, but there are no jolly green giant beans for your heartache.”
Nurse speaking to patient wearing crown: "And who's your next of king?"
Surgeon speaking to patient in hospital bed: "There were complications. Are you familiar with the tinman from the Wizard of Oz?"
Doctor speaking to patient - “Thanks for pouring out your heart, Bob, but you only needed to empty your bladder.”
Woman speaking to friend about husband who's walking away:: "He never listens to me. He marches to an irregular heartbeat."
Doctor talking to man in karate uniform - “I was worried I may have strained my karate artery.”
Doctors speaking to man in hospital bed - “We did a major bypass so the way to your heart is not through your stomach.”
Doctor speaking to man - “Your EKG reveals that you are a little off beat.”
Doctor talking to a giant rook - “Tell me about these chess pains.”
Man talking to doctor - “So, you’re sending me to a cardiologist because I wear my heart on my sleeve?”
Boy holding a briefcase that says "Little Wellness Facilitator."
Doctor speaking to hospital patient and wife: "The EKG showed a soft spot in your heart for your wife."
Surgeon in Psychiatrist office - “When it comes to organ transplants, I internalize too much.”
Nurse to male patient whose legs have turned liquid: "How long have you been off solids?"
Nurse to doctor about patient with broken arms and legs: "He went on a crash diet and his potato chip bag didn't deploy."
Patient in wheelchair surrounded by happy nurses at "Center for Infectious Joy."
Different Strokes for Indifferent Folks - Doctor: Why did you wait so long?" Stroke ICU patients: I thought I pulled a muscle. Didn't have insurance. Had a hair appointment. Was watching the game. I was rebalancing my energy field."
Surgeon speaking to male patient in hospital room: "I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure."
Man talking to doctor - “I was all choked up because I tried to swallow my pride.”
Clown holding balloon speaking to receptionist: "I'd like to make a balloon payment on my angioplasty."
Doctor speaking to older male patient: "It's common for your heart to skip a beat when you date a fitness instructor."
Doctor speaking to patient holding rock: "Well, then, as a geologist you understand that you can never take your health for granite."
Woman wearing portable shower talking to confused man - “The nurse says it’s extremely important to stay hydrated.”
Fitness trainer speaking to apple: "You have good color and are the symbol of health, but today I want to work on your core."
Man in T-Shirt that says "Caution Fully Medicated" walking past woman and her dog,
Doctor speaking to man in office - "Too many mushroom burgers has given you a portibelly."
Doctor speaking to office manager - “Our patients have dropped off ever since we let the plants die in our office.”
Two women talking about man laying on couch - “He once had a fire in his belly ... now, he just has heartburn.”
Doctor speaking to man in hospital bed - “Give me an emergency contact number and two forms of social media to use.”
Heavy set man talking to his doctor - “I don’t know how I got this big stomach. All I eat are finger foods.”
Doctor in a church confessional - “I fired my head of cardiology ... but I haven’t had the heart to tell him.”
Man in prison stripes speaking to a doctor: “You have an arrested development. And if you want a second opinion, stripes make you look fat.”
Picture of three doors: Pre-Op, Post-Op and Special Ops
Man with rough appearance speaking to a doctor - “I’m taking you off roughage, and putting you on smoothies.”
Cartoon of worried pig carrying a non-smoking patchout of a pharmacy
“That’s nice, Mom, but can I have something other than medical chart readings?”
“Are you sure you hooked him up to the right tank, Miss Brunswick?”