Denise McEwen doesn’t believe she ever heard the term “caregiver” before 2005.
It was that November that her husband suffered a devastating stroke and she became one.
“The strong man I married couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk and couldn’t take care of his family like he had anymore,” she said. “I had to become the caregiver. No choice.”
Denise’s husband, Mark McEwen, is best known for his time as weatherman and entertainment reporter on CBS’ The Early Show. A mainstay at the network for 15 years, he left to anchor the news in Orlando, Florida, and spend more time with his family.
Shortly after, he suffered a massive stroke while traveling. The family’s plans changed dramatically and Mrs. McEwen, who has worked in the beauty industry for 20 years, found herself in the caregiver role.
She hopes sharing her experience can help others in similar situations and cautions survivors and caretakers to remember that rehabilitation can be long and hard, but it does work. She also believes it’s best to ignore naysayers.
“I was told that what functionality Mark had back by six months would be it and at five and a half months I was frantic,” she said. “But he still continues to get better and better. I also was told he would never get his ‘old’ voice back. He’s 99 percent there.”
She found that celebrating any improvements during rehabilitation helped honor the struggle.
“The first time my husband walked just half a hallway I carried on like we had just won the lottery” she said. “We still have on tape the day he got rid of his walker.”
The first time he drove to their children’s playground? The couple cried with joy.
Another piece of advice she offers other caregivers is to keep as many routines the same as possible.
“This was so important, especially for our children. Mark had his stroke in November. I still had Thanksgiving at our house. Christmas was as big and bright as always.”
She said that she has done her best to take care of herself. She would drive her husband to rehab every day and found a gym nearby with childcare.
“We both were rehabbing at the same time. It was one of the best things I could do for me,” she said.
She also prayed, reached out to other caregivers and she cried.
“Cry,” she said. “It’s a great release. Cry alone, cry with friends. Then buck up. This will not defeat or define you.”
Nine years later, the couple now spends time working with other stroke survivors and caregivers.
And McEwen is back on television regularly. He has appeared in numerous interviews and the series Popular Mark, appearing on WKMG Local 6 in Orlando. He has also authored the book “After the Stroke.”
He credits his wife for her caregiving devotion.
“She helped bring me back to life,” he wrote on Iammarkmcewen.blogspot.com, a website that shares his story.
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Bob and I are so glad Mark is doing so well! Friends from high school! Bob also had a stroke at 45 so we really know.Best to you Mark from Beth Wyllie and Bob Gaia!
I just subscribed to the American Stroke Association’s Newsletter yesterday because Native Americans, Hispanics, and Black Americans constitute the highest risk ethnic groups NOT ONLY FOR STROKES, BUT ALSO HEART DISEASE, AND PERIPHERAL ARTERY DISEASE! The risk factors are the same-the ethnic groups most affected are the same AND THE TERTIARY RESULTS ARE THE SAME. Most insidiously, I AM CREOLE ON MY MOTHER’S SIDE, WHICH MEANS THAT I HAVE ALL THREE OF THE HIGH RISK ETHNIC GROUPS I JUST MENTIONED IN MY BACKBROUND! However, I also have some knowledge, (thanks to Northwestern Memorial Hospital’s health education programs) and a commitment to fight some of this EVIL CABAL, which is why I exercised this morning.
I too am a caregiver.
I too am a caregiver.My daughter at age of twelve had a major stroke.She had to learn how to walk and talk again.She is now twenty two and doing well. Mark, I used to watch you on TV.We are so proud of you and your family.It takes a lot of courage and hard work to get out of that very dark place.My daughter is my hero.We got though a lot with love and humor and pure determination.Our best to you and your family. Thanks for listening Kathryn Grandy
My 88 yr old aunt also had major stroke, June 2015. Since day 2, 1 out of every 6 medical people have told me to let her die as she has no quality of life! She has recognized me from across the room and knew she had been on a hot air balloon ride and that she gone once with her mom and once with her sister. So don’t quit trying and praying.